Authentically Synthetic

By Aja Uranga-Foster, Certified Holistic Lifestyle Coach & Wellness Specialist

"She's so fake," "He's such a poser," etc. What does it mean when people make these accusations? As humans, part of the way that we bond with one another is by feeling connections through similar interests. These interests can be a sport, a cause or charity effort, having children at the same school, etc. And underlying these interests that bring us together, there is a need for authenticity of the other person's intentions in order for them to be accepted by others. For instance, if two people are participating together in a book club, it is typically off-putting if one person dislikes reading. The obvious question becomes, "Why are they here?" If a person is doing something but doesn't actually enjoy it, their intention is perceived as being insincere, or fake.

Another form of being fake is when a person puts great effort into covering up who they are, or otherwise attempts to replace who they are-- physically, emotionally, mentally-- with a substitution. If a person is not naturally inclined to be a certain way, it is important to consider why they are trying to force or train themselves to be that way. For instance, a teenager who dreams of becoming a basketball star. Is the child equipped with skill at the game and athleticism? Does the child enjoy playing? These are acceptable as natural inclinations to be on a basketball team. But what if the child is not equipped with skill, athleticism, and joy of the game? Everyone has to start somewhere, and many people do not start with any of these things in the beginning. These things can develop over time when work is put into practice. Another example is an adult who dreams of becoming a politician. They may start going to events at City Hall or networking with local politicians. And in the beginning, same as the child trying to become a basketball star, they will look awkward and out of place. But if their intention is genuine, they are not "posers" or fakes. They are simply in training to become a new self. Their intention is key to how others will perceive them. And their intention is key to their ultimate success, along with focus and hard work.

Every one of us is a fabrication. Who you are is a creation, a mixture of natural born talent, predisposition, desire, and intention. All of us have put in effort from childhood to learn how to be who we are today. We learn manners, and choose to accept, reject, or alter them. We practice different talents, and become experts in many of them as we use them in our workplaces and hobbies throughout life. Becoming who we are is a life-long effort. Each day we become better at some things, choose to drop our efforts on other things, and move into the new version of ourselves. The fabric of who you are is dynamic and is a blend of natural fibers of your inner being blended with synthetic pieces of who you are becoming day by day. 

As the synthetic threads are woven in, we must be careful not to lose the breathable, durable, natural fibers all together. There is nothing wrong with being partly synthetic, since this is part of the process of becoming yourself. But we must strive to maintain our own personal, perfect blend of synthetic and natural fibers, in the way that is most authentic to our inner being and needs. 

As the saying goes, "Haters are gonna hate." So when we embark on any new activity, there will be critics, there will be people who misjudge your intention, and there will be people who are not compassionate to the fact that you are still learning. Outside feedback can be helpful to a degree, but often it can just feel negative. Instead of focusing on the outer feedback, keeping in touch with our inner world is how we truly find whether we are on the right track. This is how we determine for ourselves whether the synthetic blend we are made of today is our own perfect balance of natural and "man-made." Is your intention genuine? Are you honestly being real, or fake? Are your intentions constructive, or destructive?

How do we keep in touch with our inner world, the truth within ourselves? It is accomplished through maintaining a healthy lifestyle and supportive wellness practices such as healthy eating, physical activity, regular quiet time for reflection or prayer, and enjoying social time with friends and family. 

Sometimes life knocks us out of balance, and it seems impossible to get in touch with our inner truth. Perhaps your "fabric blend" has accidentally become overly synthetic, and like polyester fabric prevents your skin from breathing, it is preventing your soul from breathing. 

It is ok to feel overwhelmed or unsure where to turn. If you need a helping hand to get on track with your wellness and your inner truth, Mighty Mind & Body is here to help you. Call us today at (916) 800-3866.

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